Emotional Needs Quiz

Does your partner meet your emotional needs? Take this quiz to find out.

Enter numbers 1 through 5 for the questions and use the following rating system:

5= Always
3= Sometimes
1 = Never/Infrequently

See explanation of your results at the bottom of the page.


1. My partner tells me I'm attractive and I feel desired by him or her.

2. My partner lets me know when I'm out of line in a loving way.

3. I feel emotionally and physically safe with my partner.

4. I feel like my partner knows my likes and dislikes.

5. I get physical affection from my partner when I want it.

6. My partner supports my dreams.

7. I feel respected and listened to by my partner.

8. My partner is a really great friend.

9. I am forgiven by my partner when I make a mistake.

10. My partner is very giving and generous with his/her time.

Total:




If you scored:

Between 40 and 50, likely you feel great in your relationship. You feel loved and cared for as your partner knows how to meet your needs.

Between 30 and 40, sometimes you may feel loved and cared for but you may feel something's missing. It's possible your partner may be unaware of some of your needs and how to meet them. See the blog post What Have you Done for Me Lately? for thoughts on how to be direct with your partner about your needs. There are many ways to help your partner get it!

Between 20 and 30, likely you already know your relationship is suffering. Some of these needs may be more important than others to you and you may really be hurting. If you don't feel safe in this relationship or that you can be truly loved, get help! It's possible to work through the issues that may be getting in the way of getting your needs met.

Below 20, it's probably best to end this relationship. Very likely you don't feel loved, valued, appreciated or cared for. You might feel physically and emotionally unsafe and your health may even be suffering. Seek help from mentors or someone like me to explore your options.