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How to Know if You Have Found the One

You’re in love and want to take the next step in your commitment.  You might be pretty sure but you wonder how to know if you have found the one.   I’ve worked with hundreds of couples in the early stages of their relationship and I can usually tell which couples are going to have an easier time and which ones are going to struggle.  Couples likely to have a more secure future can say most of the following about their relationship: 


  • We seem to share similar beliefs about life.
  • Our life goals feel very aligned. 
  • We protect each other and our relationship. 
  • We trust each other. 
  • There's a lot of mutual respect and admiration. 
  • I feel like I can share just about anything with my partner.
  • We have learned (or are getting better at) how to talk about our differences and work through conflict. 
  • My partner just seems to know how to meet most of my emotional needs.
  • We really like spending time together. 
  • I really like who I am with my partner.
  • We appear to be heading in the right direction, getting stronger every day.


If you can affirm most of these statements about your relationship, you’re likely in a great place!  Now, it's about learning how to maintain such a strong loving relationship

If you can only endorse a few of these statements, it doesn’t mean you haven’t found the one.  But, you two may still have some growing to do!  Use the following questions to explore the missing areas.  Perhaps some are not as important to you. Perhaps others you’re not paying enough attention to.  I encourage you to explore more before taking your relationship to the next level. 



How to Know If You Have Found the One:  Explore These Questions

1. What areas on the list above are the ones you can’t say is true (yet) about your relationship?

2. What out of those areas are most important to you?  

3. How are you working toward getting fulfillment in these areas?  

4. Are you ignoring any important issues, hoping it will get better with time or pretending it’s not important to you?  

5.  What other qualities does your relationship have that are strong and make it feel right for you? 


Click here if you think you might need more coaching

Check out these free Relationship Quizzes to explore even more about your relationship. 



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