Managing the Crazy
I was talking to a girlfriend the other day about how we sometimes get a little crazy in our relationships. When we're in love, whether it's for a few months or, like me, for more nearly 13 years, our romantic partners have a way of making us a little crazy. He or she pushes our buttons in ways that dredge up some unhealed wound in ourselves and, well, we go a little nuts.
Now crazy may look like slamming a few drawers or letting your mind go to terrible places if he or she is running a little late for your date. This is what happened to me last night. My husband came home a little later than I thought he would to meet me for our date (mind you, we hadn't talked about a SPECIFIC time but, well you know how that goes...). Because it was a special date and I was feeling a little vulnerable, my mind went to all kinds of crazy places-- how he doesn't really care, how he doesn't want to make our marriage a priority, blah, blah, blah. Last time I checked, I thought I had a self esteem. Oy.
So, I had a choice to make. In my vulnerability, I could have "let him have it" when he got home or gave him the cold shoulder or just not have "been in the mood" to go out. But, I didn't do any of those things. Instead, I took a deep breath and reminded myself about what happens when couples don't communicate about their specific expectations (i.e. exact times for dates). I also reminded myself of his love and commitment for me and our marriage. Then I put on some lip gloss and a smile to greet him. He was apologetic and shared that he was helping his elderly parents make their house a little cooler (Doh!). And..we had a great night.
It makes me wonder had I taken the path of anger and hurt, what kind of night we would have had. There are benefits to managing "our crazy" if we take a moments pause to come off the ledge. We just have to choose to.