Stop Piling Up Relationship Problems!

We all know how to pile up our problems, right? It starts with ignoring something small-- a mis-connect in communication or a brushed off gesture of affection. Then maybe the next day there's a snarky comment or more distance than usual. Then maybe in another day there's a full blown argument.

What we often don't know how to do well is to stop the piling up these minor irritations or disconnects so that they don't turn into full blow arguments or worse, ongoing frequent and intense arguing.

How powerful would it be if we were completely present and in tune with the effects of minor disconnects? What if at the end of the day we kissed or hugged our partners and said something like, "Hey I noticed that we didn't seem to understand each other earlier today" or a "Thanks for reaching out to me earlier...sorry if I seemed distracted." I'm sure many of you who do this regularly or have tried this know how simple and powerful this is to re-establish connection and closeness with your partner.

But, we often don't do this. We don't do it because we're either afraid to bring up a potential argument or we're slightly wounded about what happened earlier and don't want to reach out. Or, we're simply too tired or distracted with the kids or work or household chores to bring it up.

Yet, many of us know from personal experience what happens when we're either not paying attention or not dealing with these things. They start as tiny cracks and pretty soon the disconnect become multiple disconnects that create the Grand Canyon. I think of the words of the song by Glen Hansard, "These little cracks they escalated and before we knew it was too late..."

Be mindful of the small things and remember to say or do something simple and sweet to acknowledge the disconnect. If it's become several things, clean it all up at once and don't let the relationship problems pile up!

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