Red Alert: Wife unhappy pay attention! If I could tell the world of men one thing it would be this: If your wife or girlfriend tries to tell you how unhappy she is, stop everything you're doing, listen and take action.
You might think, "Well, she's always yammering on about something but then she seems to drop it and everything seems cool again."
It's not; I can assure you. What's happening is that she's giving up over time and pretty soon she'll be done with you. In a woman's mind, if she's telling you she's unhappy, then she's probably thought a lot about it, tried to find the perfect way to say it and thinks she's actually going to reach you and you'll get it.
But, what I see so often is that men don't get it until their wife is ready to walk out the door. They say all the time, "But I had no idea you were this unhappy! Why didn't you tell me??" See, men for the most part are very singularly focused and need very direct communication followed by action in order to process the urgency of a situation. For women, they can't understand how their husband or boyfriend missed it.
And, yes, many women don't communicate well. They withdraw into their own worlds or don't say things directly enough. But, often, women really are trying to tell their partners about their emotional needs and what they need to stay connected in the relationship. What woman don't do well is follow up their words with direct (though less drastic) action in earlier phases of being disconnected. Once a woman is emotionally disconnected, it can be pretty tough to get her back. It doesn't mean everything in the relationship is your fault. It just means she's fed up and wants a change.
So, men, I urge you, so that you're not totally shell shocked and in a puddle on the floor when she's walking out the door, pay attention to her when she's talking about her unhappiness. She's trying to tell you what she needs from the relationship. She means business. And, if she can't reach you she will give up and let you go.
Read What to Do if Wife Says She is Leaving for specific steps on what to do next.