Happy New Year! I can't believe another year has gone by.

I wanted to get this out to all of you so that you are aware of a few upcoming classes and my new website and email. Also, check out the communication article on when to stop talking!

I have a new website!

Check out my new website. It's a work in progress but my goal is to provide readers with much more content. It includes a link to my blog as well as articles to help you improve your relationship. It will also include book recommendations, surveys and paperwork you will need. I am happy to take suggestions for what you would like to see so feel free to send me an email with your ideas.

My new email will be karen@reinventingrelationships.com (you can still use my old email as I'll keep that account open for a while).

Take a tour of my new site!

Upcoming Classes

I have two classes scheduled in the next month. One is for couples and one is for women. Both are about relationships. I will also likely be creating a class on managing intense emotions. Let me know if you are interested in a class on this topic.

Couples Class

Build a relationship you love by learning the skills you need. We'll talk about communication, learning to see the other's perspective, creating closeness, and identifying those relationship killing behaviors.

Starts January 19th, Tuesdays at 6:30p.m.

Click here for more information or to sign up!

Relationship Class for Women

Join other women in building skills to make your relationship strong. Learn how to stop trying to make men into your girlfriends and love them for who they are. Build skills in connecting and accepting the one you love. Perfect for women who can't get their partners to counseling or a class!

Starts January 28th, Thursday at 6:30p.m. Click here for more information or to sign up!

Communication Tip: Stop Talking!

Yes, I know it seems odd to have an article on "communication" where I tell you to stop talking. But, there are many situations when talking less can actually improve your communication and your closeness.

So, when should you actually stop talking?

1. When both of you are so heated that the only communication you have would be angry, overly emotional words.Later, you'll just wish you could take back those words anyway. Take a deep breath and WALK AWAY. To those of you who don't like it when your partner walks away, LET THEM. There's probably a good reason they are doing so.

2. When you're stressed out, hungry, tired or irritated with something or someone else. I've had many an argument with my husband when I was either hungry or stressed out about something having nothing to do with him. In our relationships, we seem to develop the bad habit of taking out our frustrations on each other. So, before you speak in anger/irritation, ask yourself: Am I really upset with him/her or do I just need to eat a sandwich or take a bath?

3. When talking about the subject only makes it worse. Yes, there are times when talking about a difficult subject only makes it worse. These can be topics where one of you just doesn't understand the other or it's a particularly painful or shameful topic. You can often do more for your relationship by giving a backrub, writing an encouraging note or watching their favorite movie or ballgame together.

The number one question to ask yourself before you speak is: Will saying this help or hurt our relationship?

I look forward to seeing many of you in the next few weeks. For the rest of you, I wish you a happy, healthy and prosperous new year.


Karen Holland, LMFT 4155 E. Jewell Avenue, Ste 703 Denver, CO 80222 (720) 210-5452/office & fax

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