Hello! I hope this finds you well. Check out the article on some facts and tips about relationships and this month's book recommendation, For Better: The Science of a Good Marriage

Tools & Tips: A Few Facts & Tips About Relationships

Did you know that:

- When taking a closer look at marriage & divorce statistics, marriage is actually stronger today than it has been in decades. Sometimes it seems like all the relationships around you are falling apart and divorce seems to be the inevitable path. Take heart and realize that not as many people as you think are getting divorced AND people are also statistically healthier and happier when they stay in their marriage.

- Conflict can be good for marriage. Statistics show that newlyweds who don't fight are at a higher risk for divorce than couples who argue a lot in the early years. When you think about this, it makes sense. Couples who work out their problems early on eventually have a smoother ride. Couples who are conflict-avoidant or "in denial" find themselves in a whole lot of mess years later. Also, wives especially who don't back down on what's important to them early on help get their marriages on track faster.

- Did you know that people who love jazz are more sexually active? And that people who work more than 60 hours a week have more sex? The middle class are having less sex than the wealthy and the poor, and the more educated you are, the less sex you're having. Okay, the statistic about people who work more than 60 hours per week is hard to believe. Maybe the harder you work, the harder you play?

- Couples who regularly share new experiences are happier than those who are creatures of habit. We grow when we experience new things; life is more exciting, fresh, adventurous. Couples who play together and experience the world together, stay together. Life can get pretty dull otherwise and people can start to wonder: is this all there is??

- Did you know that rolling your eyes at your husband or wife is a strong predictor of divorce? This is from the research of John Gottman. Eye rolling, especially from women, is a strong sign of contempt. Contempt is never found in healthy relationships and tears connections apart.

- How couples share household chores is an indicator of how much sex they have and whether or not they will stay together. Life is hard work and leaving the burden of family and household chores to one person is hard on the relationship. It leads to resentment, exhaustion and distance.

All of these facts are taken from the book, For Better: The Science of a Good Marriage.

Upcoming Couples Class

Next Couples Class starts September 1st! If you know any couples who want to sharpen their communication skills, understand how gender influences how you connect, and find out more about what makes relationships strong and what tears them down, forward this newsletter!

Click here for more information or to sign up!

Book Recommendation!

Tara Parker-Pope, New York Times contributor and blogger, recently published a book called, For Better: The Science of a Good Marriage. She pulls together much of the varied research out there on what makes successful marriages. It's a fascinating read and some of the research will surprise you. She provides tons of quizzes on relationships in the book and it ends up being a great guide for making your marriage work. Check it out!

Want Even more Advice on Relationships?

Subscribe to my blog and read at your leisure. Topics range from date night, to what to do with anger during arguments and how to keep relationships close.

There's lots to read these days and certainly not enough time to read it all. Tuck this blog away for those times when you really need to read something to get perspective on your relationship.

Click here to read my latest blog entry

Also, I'm offering free articles to those who request them. Articles are entitled: "Communication: Making Your Relationship Work" and "Building Closeness in Your Relationship." Stay tuned for articles on Affair-Proofing Your Marriage and other articles to help keep your relationship happy and healthy. Click on the following link to get your free articles! Click here to get two free articles for your relationship!

Request for Referrals

As always, I'm looking to expand my practice so if you come across couples or individuals looking for a counselor, please pass along my name. I do pre-marital, couples and individual counseling. You can forward this newsletter or refer them to my website.

I hope you enjoyed reading. I look forward to seeing many of you in the coming weeks.


Karen Holland, LMFT 4155 E. Jewell Avenue, Ste 703 Denver, CO 80222 (720) 210-5452/office & fax

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