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Fall Back in Love, This Fall!
September 12, 2012

It's fall once again. The leaves are just starting to change, there's a hint of cool air and the kids are back in school!

It's a great time to find ways to fall back in love with your spouse and learn some tools for reconnecting and strengthening your relationship.

In this article, I share my thoughts on 6 statements that may be the key to life long happiness in marriage.

Tools & Tips: Keys to Life Long Happiness

In the book All There Is: Love Stories from Storycorps by David Isay, there's an essay written by an 85 year old man, Leroy Morgan about his life long marriage. Years earlier, he and his wife came across a sign that said: Successful Marriage. The sign had six statements: "You look great", "Can I help?", "Let's eat out", "I was wrong", "I am sorry", and "I love you."

These statements struck me as profoundly wise. Here's what they can mean for your marriage:

1. "You look great!" - Offering appreciation, expressions of desire, fondness and admiration are absolute keys to fostering closeness and connection. Looking good for our partners, maintaining sex appeal and all the ways we presented ourselves when we were first dating are keys to maintaining sexual attraction over the years.

2. "Can I help?" - This statement reminds us not only how important partnership is but recognizing each other's needs. When we offer to help and when we follow through on commitments, we learn to really rely on each other.

3. "Let's eat out!" - One of the keys to closeness over a life time is to make time for regular dates. As well, this statement recognizes the importance of having fun together and letting go of life's daily stressors together.

4. "I was wrong." - This is probably the most difficult statement to make and yet it probably has the most power. A person's ability to admit s/he is wrong implies an ability to self reflect, grow, give up being "right" and recognize the impact of his or her behavior on their partner.

5. "I am sorry." - Being able to apologize and to validate your partner shows that you really care about your partner and that you can take responsibility for your actions. This is critical after arguments or when your partner is hurt by something you have done, whether you meant to or not or whether you can understand why they're hurt or not.

6. "I love you." - Words of affection, physical expressions of love are critical to foster warmth and loving feelings over a life time. Don't assume your partner "knows" you love them. Say it and show it every single day.

Relationship Classes! Next One on Communication

Stop Arguing and Start Communicating!

Are you tired of arguing all the time? Do you feel like your partner never listens to or understands you? Are you sick of having the same discussion over and over and feeling like it never gets resolved? Take this three week class for couples on effective communication. CLASS STARTS October 16th!!

Click Here to Register and Find out More Information!

Book Recommendation: All There Is: Love Stories from Storycorps

I recently read the book, All There Is: Love Stories from Storycorps. It is truly a delightful, inspiring, funny, heartwarming book filled with stories of romantic love from all different phases of love. It's a book that can show how remarkable and powerful love is. Read it and you'll see yourselves or what you hope to have.

Want Even more Advice on Relationships?

Subscribe to my blog and read at your leisure. Topics range from date night, to what to do with anger during arguments and how to keep relationships close.

There's lots to read these days and certainly not enough time to read it all. Tuck this blog away for those times when you really need to read something to get perspective on your relationship.

Click here to read my latest blog entry

Also, I'm offering free articles to those who request them. Articles are entitled: "Communication: Making Your Relationship Work," "Building Closeness in Your Relationship." and "Affair-Proofing Your Marriage." Stay tuned for future articles on other topics available by request. Click on the following link to get your free articles!

Request for Endorsements!

If you feel so inclined, it would be great if you all would do a couple of things for me.

1) Take the time to write a brief review of me on my Linked In Profile.

2) Become a fan of my Facebook Page.

3) Send me, via email, a written testimonial on your experience with me that I can post anonymously on my website.

I would deeply appreciate it!

Thank you for sharing this journey in life and love with me.


Karen Holland, LMFT 4155 E. Jewell Avenue, Ste 703 Denver, CO 80222 (720) 210-5452/office & fax

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