Getting Back on Track: In Love and In Life

So...I've suddenly realized that I've taken a 6 week or so break from writing this blog. I wondered how it happened and how I let myself get so distracted by other things. It occurred to me that this sounds like a lot of people who sit on my couch. Like me, they went on auto-pilot, and forgot to keep doing (or start doing) the things they said they were committed to. It happens. We're human. So, like they say in AA or when you're on a diet, there's nothing more to it than picking up and starting again.

In our relationships, it's all too easy to let things go on auto-pilot for years. It starts out as a few days then, well you know...suddenly it's 5 years later and you're like, What the heck? How did we get here?!?. So, how can we avoid the pitfalls of going on auto pilot and learn to be mindful and focused at least most of the time?

The answer is fairly simple: Keep whatever you want on your schedule or "to do" list and have an overall goal. Simple, right? Well, er, yes and no. Imagine in your relationships, if you kept on your task list or in your calendar the dates you planned to take, when to send flowers or write little love notes, a plan for sex or to have that discussion you've been meaning to have. I know, I know. I hear the groans. It doesn't sound very romantic or spontaneous. But, I gotta say, life is busy. And the things we want out of it, quite frankly, need to be scheduled. By scheduling things like dates or sex or writing blog posts or calling the plumber or whatever, we move toward it and it moves toward us. Sure, we can, like I did, ignore it when it comes up on our schedule. But! That's where our overall goals come in. The question to ask is: What am I trying to do in this life, my work or in my relationship? What steps do I need to take to get there? And then we just keep taking those steps. When we fall down or get sidetracked, we keep returning to where we want to go.

In my wedding vows I said to my husband, "I promise to always return to you." In thinking about those words, I think I also meant it for myself and what I want out of my life. So dear blog readers (and diet and budget and romantic gestures), I promise to return to you too. Again and again and again.