Seduce Me Baby! Exploring Fifty Shades of Grey

So, I’ve done it. I finally started reading Fifty Shades of Grey which is apparently sweeping the nation and moistening a whole lot of women’s loins out there. What is it about good looking, sexually skilled billionaires that capture the desires of women? (she asks with a roll of her eyes)

And yet, I have to say, I’m not immune to his charms. He is certainly skilled at seduction and I feel, as I read, that he’s drawing me in too. I wonder what he’ll do next.

So what is so powerful about the art of seduction?

Imagine this….

It starts with an appraising look. You know the kind. Amused, twinkling eyes, a hint of lust, a tilt of the head. Imagine your man looking at you this way until you look up from your book. He gives you a slight smile. You can’t help but smile back. He says simply, “Come here.” Your pulse quickens because you wonder what he’s up to. You can’t help but follow his command. You walk over and he pulls your hips to him as he lifts your shirt to plant light kisses on your stomach….

Does he have your attention? I would imagine so.

Seduction, to me, starts with a person’s ability to open up a person, to engage them mentally and then physically. Here’s what we can learn from Fifty Shades of Grey about seduction.

  1. Tease each other with playful banter and the giving and withdrawing of touch.
  2. Make her feel completely special, irresistible and that she rules his heart. Make him feel like he’s the king of the world and that he rules her heart. Do this with words, thoughtful gifts and making each other believe that you would “break all the rules” to win her or his love.
  3. Use the element of surprise to delight but make sure you know the limits.
  4. Build trust through lots of communication and moving slowly.
  5. Play with roles of dominance and submission to expand trust and one’s sexual experience.
  6. As trust builds, be more vulnerable (share your heart’s desires and fears) to deepen intimacy.
  7. Try something new, even if you don’t think you’ll like it.

While it’s no great work of literature, ultimately being a fairly typical romance novel, it’s a great conversation piece. I highly suggest couples reading it to generate ideas and check in about the quality of their sex life. It could take you on a whole new adventure together!