Too Tired for Sex? What to Do About It!

Beyond any other reason I hear from couples about not having sex, people complain most about being too tired for sex. In general, many of us don’t eat well. There’s not enough time for exercise. Tasks and kids and bosses are pulling at us all the time. All this energy is being directed elsewhere and sex is often the last thing on our minds.

We know we should be doing it for the health of our relationships and there’s a lot of research on the benefits for our mental and physical health as well. So what can we do about it?

1. Master the art of quickies – Quickies are really important to maintaining a satisfying sex life. There are all kinds of places and acts that can qualify as sex (oral, manual and intercourse) that you can have a great time, even if you don’t have time to achieve orgasm. It’s more about the connection, play and turning up the heat.

2. Work really hard to improve your overall health – The truth is if a person is spiking their sugar, existing on coffee and not getting any exercise, s/he just isn’t going to have the energy for much of anything. If sex is important to you (and it should be if your relationship is important to you!!), then take care of yourself.

3. Keep sex on the brain more often by creating a sex den, wearing stimulating clothing and engaging in stimulating rituals. What’s a sex den, you ask? Turning your bedroom into a kid-free, sensual space with pillows, candles, silky sheets and lots of red. Keep yourself stimulated by wearing sexy underwear, putting on sensual feeling robes, lotions and potions.

4. Commit to doing it twice a week, no excuses! – You need to schedule sex. You can make scheduling fun by sending dirty texts or whispering sweet sexy things in each other’s ear, but absolutely put it in your schedule to make time for it every week. If you’re tired or not in the mood, do it anyway. You’ll find that all it takes is getting past the first few minutes.

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